Card Reading Bonanza!

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I feel like I was born to do this.  The trick is getting in the right mood and in contact with your inner fortune teller.

My tips of trade are:

1. Eat. You can’t predict the future when your stomach is growling.

2. Choose a dignified setting. I’m thinking burgundy velvet, wax candles and a golden turban. Someplace dark with heavy curtains. Put a throw over your scratch pole and litter box – they don’t really add anything to your air of ancient wisdom and mystery. Your gaze should be veiled and unfathomable.

3. Use professional equipment. Crystal, gold and vintage tarot cards are good. Cheapskate plastic and polyester robes do not instill confidence. (Quigley should pay extra attention to this – no names mentioned).

4. Should a client display any sign of doubt at your predictions – go for his face and tell him to feck off.

 

These are on my mood board right now:

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And these are Quigley’s fortune telling cards. Say no more…

 

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